These days it seems like anyone can slap the word ‘coach’ on their profile and start giving advice. But true coaching is so much more than offering guidance or instructions. It’s not about being the expert or having all the answers.

When I’m instructing my role is clear:

• Teach the skills.
• Refine the techniques
• Share proven strategies based on my experience and expertise.

That’s instructing – it’s not coaching.

It’s valuable, but it’s a very different relationship.

When I’m coaching, it’s about something entirely different. Coaching is not about me and my opinions or ‘the way I did it‘. It’s not about the techniques I know, or the strategies I’ve mastered.

Instead it’s about stepping into the unknown with my client. Creating opportunities for them to discover their own insights which in turn guide their actions.

In coaching I’m not the expert – the client is.

I don’t tell them what to do – I ask questions, listen, and yes I draw attention to things that are out of their current awareness.

I trust that they already have the wisdom within them even if they can’t see it yet. And I help them see it.

You could say the coach is the expert in ‘not-knowing’ (Nancy Kline).

Coaching is messy because it’s real. It’s not about giving answers; it’s about co-creating a space for someone to discover their own truth.

It’s not always easy. In fact, it takes more skill and presence to not jump in with advice, and to resist the urge to fix.

For me, the key difference between instructing and coaching is the difference between showing someone the way (instructing) and walking with them as they discover it (coaching).

So yes, anyone can call themselves a coach. But true coaching? That takes practice. It takes discipline. And it takes a deep commitment to self-discovery…not just for your clients…but yourself.

The result?

True coaching transforms. It empowers. And it creates lasting change because the answers come from the client, not from someone else’s roadmap.

So when you’re seeking support it’s good to know what kind of support you’re really looking for.

And if you’re offering support it’s good to be clear in your own mind what it is you’re really offering.